Me: I’m going to sail through Mercury Retrograde this time!

Mercury Retrograde: LOL.

On September 9, Mercury began its third retrograde of the year, starting in Libra before continuing into Virgo on the 23rd, and not resuming direct course until October 2nd. Count on stalls, lurches, miscommunications, backfires, and other flaws in the plan along the way. No two signs are more concerned with objective perfection than Libra and Virgo, making the trickster planet’s work that much easier — and your life that much harder.

That’s the bad news.

Here’s the good news: with multiple retrogrades and eclipses in full force, there has never been a better time to focus on recognizing projection inside of language while setting healthy boundaries and nurturing important, meaningful relationships. It’s the perfect season for evaluating our relationship with ourselves and others.

It’s also the perfect season for recognizing and cultivating shifts in our perception.

 While this may be a challenging time, it gives us the opportunity to:

• transform our pain into strength, courage and wisdom (cue India Arie), and

• consciously come to terms with our pasts and move forward into better things.

This is also an incredible time to:

• begin identifying the (mis)interpretations and true meaning inside of language offered/received, and

• work to set boundaries for ourselves (aka, STOP enabling others to take advantage of our kindness and humility while protecting our hard-won, balanced, good-natured energy).

This is a time for us to become more aware of anyone and anything around us that may be birthing chaos, confusion, and complicated energy into our world. 

I’m all for taking responsibility where there is responsibility to take, but let’s be real here: some sh*t is not yours, period.

There are people in your world, almost undoubtedly, who are attempting to dump their mental messes right into your lap. When we’re able to recognize these people, we can immediately begin a process of releasing them and the emotional distress we’ve allowed them to inflict upon us. The result of this release is a more peaceful, well-balanced and genuine connection to ourselves, leading to greater stability and productivity –  yes, even during Mercury Retrograde!

Here’s the truth: It's nearly impossible to live a productive, happy life when you have someone in your personal space who is emotionally and energetically projecting their pain onto you. 

Over the past few months, I’ve witnessed leaders turn a blind eye to this kind of toxic, catabolic energy and the ways it infects teams, partnerships and relationships, ultimately tearing them down, or worse, apart. Leaders! you cannot ignore toxic energy thinking it will simply go away or resolve itself. I’m definitely all for the “let’s look at ourselves and work it out by focusing on the positive” approach but you also need to know when it's time to release people who consistently (and often intentionally) contribute to frustration and stress rather than encouragement and productivity. 

I’ve found that collaboration and coaching isn’t always enough with people who hold this kind of Level 1 or Level 2 energy as their default setpoint (therapy is often what’s needed). Of course, releasing and letting go of these people may be easier said than done. When you have a relationship or partnership you feel is worth keeping, you don't have to cut that person off for good, but you do need to follow a few simple practices for the sake of your wellbeing.

If anyone knows what all of this is like from experience, it's me. I recently ended what I thought would be a prosperous partnership with a person I respect and care for both professionally and personally. It was unfortunate… yet necessary.

I decided to end the relationship because I experienced multiple uneasy, disruptive and energy draining run-ins over the past several weeks with this person even after we had multiple clearing conversations. The uncomfortable encounters re-awakened me to how important it is to be razor sharp intentional with sharing my personal space and energy with others. When I begin to surround myself with toxicity, my intuitive nature and compassionate leadership style will tempt me to linger in spaces with the wrong people for too long and despite my best efforts, on some level, begin to internalize their negative projections (even when I know that it's not me or good for me). 

While this was an unexpected and disappointing experience, I know I'm not alone in abruptly ending something initially thought to be an incredible, worthwhile partnership. And this type of ending is symptomatic of retrograde season.

You know that you need to release some negative energy, but there are certain relationships you're simply not willing (or afraid) to let go of – at least right now. In that case, these practices can help you preserve your energy, avoid the negative projections of others, and continue to facilitate better relationships professionally and personally.

3 Practices to Follow That Will Help You Handle Projection and Maintain Certain Relationships

1. Conduct Routine Energy Checks
   We can probably all agree that this is a season of "Thou Shall Not Project Negative Energy." There's a time and place for it… but now is not the time. Instead, use this season to cultivate an optimistic lens, looking for the brighter side of every situation, understanding that our energy exchanges depend on it. This isn’t about becoming the energy police or being a “mind ninja” to create an inauthentic, candy coating of fake rose-colored glasses. But this season of crazy, chaotic energy requires a higher level of optimism, lightheartedness and ‘looseness’ for our survival – a good sense of humor doesn’t hurt either. An easy way to do an energy check on yourself is to evaluate your mood and attitude. Check in with the Energetic Self-Perception chart. If you know you’re having a bad day and it's reflecting outward on those around you, consider a little temporary retreat to avoid projecting negativity. And I mean retreat in both of its definitions: withdraw and take a little time for yourself. You can always politely excuse yourself from any conversation and request time to be alone.

2. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy
   While checking on your own energy is an important first step, it's also important for you to start setting some serious boundaries. The assumptions around retrogrades are that this period is wholly negative… but that is not the case! This season brings energy that can help take our success to the next level, enabling us to make some significant breakthroughs in both our personal and professional lives. If you're determined to see great results from this retrograde, you'll need to be mindful of the people you're spending time with and what they have to say. It may be time to start cutting off those with repetitive displays of emotional and energetic instability. If you don't, the constant energetic deception can bring you down, make you less productive, and cause a struggle within yourself that you don't need to experience now. Other people's breakdowns aren't going to stop your big breakthrough, but they can impede you if you allow your attention to stay on them for too long instead of focusing on what's most important to you. If you're too close to negative people, it's hard not to end up putting your attention and energy into what they are projecting, which is why it's much better to cut the energy out and release them to work on their own problems while you focus on yours!

3. Start Focusing More on Your Intentions
   Now is the perfect time to be intentional in what you choose to think about. Start thinking about what you do want and less on what you don't want to experience. Watch out for triggers and guard yourself against internal negative communication spirals. Don't spend too much time thinking of the past or focusing on what you could've done differently to get to where you are today. Pointless ruminating is a big no-no in this season. When you start to feel negative energy, take a few minutes for self-reflection. Consider going to a room where you can meditate. Practice calm breathing techniques that can help you put your mind at ease and prevent negativity in your life. You can also try to do more of the things that make you happy and take your mind off the stress and frustration. If you're busy having a genuinely good time, you won't have nearly enough time to keep bringing up negativity or wallowing in it. Remember: energy flows where attention goes. 

With the retrograde season in full effect, we're all experiencing a shift in how we feel and react to different things. And while this can create some cause for concern, it's not all bad. On the contrary, this is a period when it's important to focus more on positivity and self-reflection while avoiding the negative energies that others bring with them. The key to surviving and thriving during retrograde comes down to boundaries: the ones you set within yourself regarding your self-talk and energy, and the ones you set with those around you. It may be challenging initially, but setting these boundaries naturally benefits you. Start expressing your needs and putting yourself first during this time to see the impact these small changes can have on you.

“When you think about a relationship with people that mean the most to you, the tendency is to try to sync up with them which is a big mistake because they are sometimes not in the spot you want to sync with and your attention upon where they are, takes you there too — in other words, you don’t mean to sync with them, but you do, because your observation of what IS, is a syncing up experience. Whatever you are looking at, if you give your attention for more than 17 seconds you get that momentum going and you are a part of that, and once it has crossed 17 seconds you can no longer blame them because you have given your attention to that long enough that you have become like minded with them…”

-Abraham Hicks

Got any tips on how to survive and thrive during Mercury Retrograde?  Let me know in the comments!