Workplace Toxicity? 3 Ways to Protect Your Energy Like A Pro
I posted on Instagram earlier this week about a certain rather expletive-laden interaction I had with a former boss. Get your f*cking ass back out there and get the story! He was screaming at me from the center of the newsroom.
Not because I didn’t already have the story, mind you. I had spent an entire day covering the Occupy protests in Oakland -- and when I say "entire day" I mean 10+ hours on my feet, marching with the protesters, interviewing and talking and watching and listening and interviewing and talking... you get the idea.
I was exhausted. It was late. I needed to leave and pick up my kids.
I told my boss I was leaving for the night.
You already know what he said. And yes, he really used the “f” word. Multiple times.
I was shocked. I had never been talked to like that – much less by my boss.
This whole thing went down in a very crowded space, full of my coworkers. And that made it even more appalling.
Let's face it: we've all had to deal with a toxic workplace at some point or another. Whether your experiences have been as extreme as the one I’ve described above or not (oftentimes, these types of situations can very quiet indeed: an eye roll behind your back, a microaggression of some kind, malicious office gossip… not all toxic workplaces display themselves so loudly), I can guarantee that if you’ve spent any significant amount of time in the corporate world, you know exactly what I mean when I say toxic workplace.
I’m not a pie-in-the-sky kinda gal – in spite of the woo (it’s neuroscience, baby!) I live right here, in reality. I know not every interaction with bosses or coworkers or the board or subordinates or anyone else we deal with is going to be rainbows and unicorns.
BUT… every interaction that we’re involved in? Yeah, WE CONTROL THAT. Which means we can turn it into rainbows and unicorns OR filet and champagne OR whatever else floats our boat.
Want to know more? Here are 3 ways to protect your own energy – no matter how toxic the environment.
Stop Holding Back & Be True to Yourself in Your Response to Conflict
No one wants to feel offended or insulted. So, when it happens to you, there's a good chance you won't know how to deal with it without experiencing tremendous rage (even if it is only momentarily). Even if you decide to take the high road and not respond, you're unknowingly making the situation worse by cutting off communication. Even worse: you’re suppressing the things you should be releasing for the sake of your mental health and emotional well being! Keeping that negativity inside can drain your energy, leaving you feeling less productive and naturally frustrated with how things are going in the workplace. It only contributes to the toxic work environment that has you dreading showing up for work each day. But what can we do to consciously deal with these situations when they happen? We can learn to let it out instead of holding it in for way too long…and we can learn to do it strategically.
I know what you’re thinking: easier said than done. Unless you’re talking about a fire-meets-fire, scorched-earth policy where you just start screaming and swearing and letting all the ugly out… yeah, that’s easy (in the moment). But strategic, deliberate responses that foster effective communication? That’s tough.
Consider this: why does someone else's bad energy have such a negative impact on you? If you're holding things in, the situation will only continue to bother you, and you will likely wake up the next day feeling as irritated as you did the day before, if not more. When you want to learn how to stop holding things in and stand up for yourself without getting out of character, start by identifying the words, phrases, or comments that trigger you most. After identifying those triggers, decide how you plan to respond to the disrespect.
You probably know that you don't want to get in a shouting match with this person, nor do you want to get out of character and act in an unprofessional manner at work. You don't need to be passive-aggressive with your response, but you can make it clear that you won't allow others to talk to you in such a demeaning way (criticism is one thing, but ignorant insults are another). Come up with a response that makes you feel good – one where you're laying out facts, speaking professionally, and not giving the other person a chance to undermine your intelligence.
There are always going to be people in your life that you find irritating, annoying, and just downright repulsive. If you allow anger and frustration to be your go-to response when you have to deal with their offensive, uneducated, ignorant comments, that only hurts one person: YOU. Speak up and out, reveal your vulnerabilities with censoring them but choose the correct response and handle the situation for yourself, not for them. When you release it instead of holding it in, you can expect to feel a thousand times better, almost as if a weight has been lifted from your chest. You won’t have to worry about the situation impacting you days later when it’s still on your mind because it’s already been handled.Take Control of Your Energy… It’s YOURS
While some think about energy as something we need in our lives to feel motivated enough to get on our feet and out the door in the morning, there's much more to it. Energy embodies everything about ourselves, including how we react to different situations and the types of moods we experience throughout the day. If someone with bad vibes is spending too much time around you, you might feel like they're draining you of your energy, causing you to get in a funk that keeps you from being productive, happy, and optimistic about different things going on in your life. No, thanks!
The only way to keep those bad vibes from draining you is to take control of your energy. The energy you possess is what will create your circumstances.
Can you recall the last time you had a bad day? Perhaps you were getting dressed and realized you never got your coffee ready that morning. Because you couldn't have your cup of morning joe, your mood may have instantly changed along with your thought process as you began telling yourself, "I know it's going to be a bad day. I can just tell." A mindset like that actually causes you to create unhealthy and potentially toxic circumstances for yourself. It’s not something you want to do, but – boom! – you just manufactured your very own bad day.
When you deal with negative people and have ongoing hostile interactions with them, it only produces more negativity in your life. It's fueling a fire of toxicity that you'd probably much rather avoid. With that in mind, you must focus on preserving your energy and keeping things as positive as possible. Understanding and referring to the Energetic Self Perception Chart on the daily will help you understand where you are energetically and what you need to do to raise your level of consciousness and energy.Convert Negative Energy into a Positive
If you feel like someone is being too negative OR if you are unable to excuse yourself from a conversation that feels like it is spiraling into something you want no part of OR if someone says something offensive… YOU can stand your ground. You can let them know how you feel and then move forward so that it doesn't take any more of your energy.
When negative energy is being thrown at you – and it can be a lot of energy to handle at one time – you must remember that energy is neutral until you do something with it.
The magic converter for turning negative energy into positive? It’s got two prongs: forgiveness and awareness.
When you forgive someone, you’re refusing to accept their negativity and becoming aware that they are in a lower state of consciousness. This is an anger diffuser – poof! Now, you have extra energy that you can use to improve yourself in some way, even if it’s just to give yourself a little pat on the back.
Or you could take the road more traveled: call yourself a victim and get negatively affected like most people. 0 out of 0: do not recommend.
Instead: take the actionable, purposeful, and deliberate steps to keep your mind clear, retain positive energy, and overcome conflict. You DO have the potential to rise above the circumstances inside a toxic workplace environment.
Energy plays a crucial role in helping you handle negativity in the workplace and prevent toxic situations that don't need to get out of control. But now that you know how to use negative energy and convert it into a positive flow, you can start to focus on taking more time for yourself to expand the positive energy you wish to exude in both your professional and personal life.
