How To Stop Rambling And Get Straight To The Point
Welcome to an unfortunate, yet all-too-popular, formula in the world of communication:
An ever-diminishing attention span +
Dopamine hits for people who talk, and talk, and talk about themselves +
An inability to get the point +
Nervousness/uncertainty/lack of confidence =
RAMBLING
And I do not mean this:
I mean:
(but maybe without the drinks)
I get it: effective communication is tough. And rambling is easy! After all, there is science to show that talking about ourselves produces dopamine which means we keep doing it. And doing it. (And maybe not doing it well). Guess what else science tells us? That people lose interest in your conversation if you talk for longer than 40 seconds uninterrupted.
A study by Scientific American found that — on average — people spend 60% of their conversations talking about themselves (and up to 80% when using social media).
Ouch.
Couple this propensity to want to feel-good with nerves or lack of confidence and you get RAMBLING.
In a world where everyone is vying for attention, it seems like the art of public speaking and presenting has taken a backseat to rambling. We all know that one person who can't seem to stop talking, and they usually end up saying nothing much of value at all - at least not in a way you can fully comprehend. If you're looking to make a good impression in any situation, whether it's a job interview or a networking event, learn how to stop rambling and get straight to the point. It's not as hard as you think!
We all have a rambler (or 2) in our lives or workplaces. When you’ve encountered a rambler in meetings, presentations, or job interviews, you can see they clearly struggle with a:
Lack of focus
Lack of preparation
Lack of practice
Lack of conversational skills
All of this AND their answers to questions are scattered and incoherent.
On the other side of this rambling spectrum is the clear communicator – someone who knows how important effective communication is in the workplace (and elsewhere), who has well-organized thoughts and talking points, who remains focused and leads the room. These people guarantee everyone around them not only understands what they are trying to convey, but also makes sure the people around them feel well understood.
So, what separates these two groups of people? It has to do with a level of self-awareness in the way they structure their thoughts and words when speaking.
Good public speakers are aware when they begin to ramble and instead choose to take time to express their ideas without running on and on. They deliberately slow down their speech to about 140-160 words per minute. This helps the brain and mouth get into sync so they can think clearly and speak at the same time. These kinds of communicators are usually great at winging it and don't have to always prepare what to say in advance. They are able to avoid the use of filler words like "um", "yeah" and "so" during conversations and presentations.
Why is this so important? Let's say you're presenting a new product idea to your team or asking management to increase your team's budget and you start to ramble. Not only will you run into the whole audience-loss-of-interest-thing, you will all but guarantee to ramble yourself right out of getting what you want.
If you want to be taken seriously, you must learn how to communicate effectively with others… and leave the ramblin’ to the Allman Brothers.
Here are a few tips to help you get started:
Always have a clear goal in mind before you start speaking. What do you want to achieve by the end of your conversation?
Make sure your arguments and ideas are well-structured, easy to follow, and they relate. This means starting with a strong opening, using transitions to segue between different points, and ending with a powerful conclusion.
Pay attention to your delivery. Your tone, volume, and body language all play a role in how your message is received.
Be prepared for questions and objections. If you can anticipate what your audience might say, you'll be able to confront, diffuse, and counter any objections upfront and better make your case.
Practice saying less. Remember that 40-sec stat? When giving a presentation or having a high stakes one-on-one conversation, it's easy to get stuck repeating yourself or giving too much context. The solution? PAUSE so that you stop yourself from saying the same thing again! This keeps you concise and helps your major points LAND.
Practice, practice, practice! The more you prepare beforehand, the more confident and concise you'll feel when it comes time for you to speak.
Are you looking to advance your career? (Dumb question, right?) It’s important to understand the role that communication plays in that advancement. Remember that professionals who can share their ideas concisely and engagingly are more likely to get what they want.
Invest in improving how you communicate, and it will pay off in your next job interview, meeting, or presentation!
In my free speaker training class, I'll teach you how to deliver powerful presentations that make an impact and positively influence your audience. Register now and join me for this presentation power hour. You’ll be glad you did! Your colleagues will be too.
