It’s Time To Finally Lose The W-A-I-T
What are you waiting for? To make that big change, to take action to follow your dreams, to finally start taking steps to Make It (whatever “IT” is for you) Happen?
Mel Robbins says almost everything in our lives can change for the better if and when we start taking action on the things we have been procrastinating on: “If you did the thing you’re avoiding, you’d have the results you want.”
I’ve been volunteer-coaching a 90-day leadership program where the participants are immersed in a challenging, yet inspiring, support environment that assists them with creating their own life blueprint, developing a leadership mentality and taking BIG action in every area of their lives.
I completed this program myself back in 2017 and it led to me losing all the “wait” I was carrying at the time by not going after two of my biggest dreams: leaving corporate America and starting my own business to create a bi-coastal lifestyle for myself and my family. Since completing the program, I’ve built a six figure coaching and consulting business (I just had my first six figure month…more on that later), a successful rental home business all while living on both coasts for the past five years.
In short, the tools I received and everything I learned while inside this program helped me stretch beyond what I believed was “possible” to develop a hyper-intuitive awareness of catching myself whenever old habits creep up. The result? I stopped holding myself back.
I use many of these tools today. And I’ve added many more to this toolbox to help both my clients and myself navigate through the really tough stuff. You might think challenges are hard, but I’ll be honest: even worse than obstacles is the feeling you get from standing at the door of something you desperately want and not being able to believe IT CAN OPEN FOR YOU.
I want to unpack this for a moment. Belief (or lack thereof) is actually the biggest reason why most people don’t achieve their goals -- big or small. And, as a coach, lack of belief is something I see most often, even among the most accomplished, motivated, ambitious and seemingly successful leaders. The worst part? They don’t even know they struggle with a lack of belief. Most of the professionals I work with, no matter their level of achievement, are often unaware of how their lack of belief causes them to self sabotage their way right out of accomplishing some of their most important goals.
Lack of belief looks like this:
“Now just isn’t the right time.”
“Not in this economy!”
“When I accomplish X…”
“I just don’t have enough of Y in order to…”
“When I’m finished with Z, it will be the ‘right time’ for me to…”
Sound familiar? Maybe you’ve caught some of this type of verbal reasoning coming out of your own mouth…
Here’s an example to make it even clearer:
I know a woman in her late 40’s. She is an established, successful business owner. She’s a super mom with established, successful kids all doing well in life. She is taking on the challenge of starting another business which she plans to grow and use as a vehicle for even more success. She’s got it all together, right? We were chatting last week and she mentioned that “as much as she tries,” she just can’t seem to make it to yoga 3 times a week – something she set a goal to accomplish and seems so insignificant in light of all of the “big” things she’s managed over the years (and in her daily life).
When I dug a little deeper on this subject, I discovered this woman was experiencing a disconnect between her goals and her intentions. This is something many of my clients experience to a certain degree when they first start working with me. I call it the “devastating collapse between goals and intentions” – sounds scary, right?
This scary-sounding disconnect has everything to do with your level of belief. Yes, you set goals. And, yes, you may even start taking action to achieve those goals, BUT until you align your intention with both the goal and your actions, you simply cannot be successful in achieving your goals.
I bet you’re thinking…”wait…my intentions are clear and aligned!”.
Hmmmm…let’s start with some definitions and see how clarity exists here.
A goal is the object of a person's ambition or effort; a thing to be achieved or desired result.
Intention is a bit trickier to define. It’s tempting to try and define it with itself (not very helpful): “It’s something you intend to do.”
I would argue that intention has nothing to do with anything you decide to do. It has everything to do with who you decide to be.
An intention is actually the dominant message you give to yourself. It is how much and what type of energy you have for a particular goal or task. In short, it's the guiding theme or principle for how you want to live.
Successful people actually struggle with this concept MORE because they are “do-er’s.” They’ve spent their lives being successful by doing. They are problem-solvers, showing up and showing out each and every day, doin’ the ol’ rise-and-grind.
I explained this distinction between goals and intention to the successful woman I was talking to and then I asked her what her intention was around this yoga goal she had, based on this new definition. There was dead silence for a moment. We were on the phone, but I could sense her mouth hanging open as she wrestled with how to answer.
“Errrrr….ok….ummm…. Yea…soooooooo the message I’ve been telling myself over and over again is that I can’t go to yoga because I just don’t have time. I give myself that message just about every time I think about going to yoga and it doesn’t feel good…the theme is I just don’t have time,” she said. She attempted to follow that comment up with how busy she really is but I strategically interrupted (no need to create more of what she doesn’t want with her own words putting out to the universe) and said: “How is that intention of ‘I just don’t have time’ helping you get to your goal of practicing yoga and having a more flexible and healthy body?”
“Well… it’s not. I need to create a new intention.”
And she’s right. And, she’s one of several clients with whom I’ve had this exact same conversation:
A woman who wanted to get a new apartment quickly but who kept saying, “I can’t possibly clean up my credit, save enough money and find an apartment I love this fast.”
A man dealing with deadlines at work who kept saying, “I just can’t get motivated enough to get everything done on time.”
Quick disclaimer: There’s nothing wrong with any of your goals and you can definitely realize them! It is also likely that you are already actively taking steps to achieve them.
But when realizing the goal just doesn’t seem to be working out OR you’re afraid to even set the goal in the first place because you think it’s just too big…too soon…not the “right time”… that’s when it’s time to check in with your intentions.
Here are 2 good questions to ask yourself to begin this checking-in process:
What do I want?
What have I been telling myself about what I want?
If the answer to #2 doesn’t support #1, guess what? You’ve just identified your biggest problem.
Here’s the truth: the Universe loves you so much that its wish is your command. Your cause, (which, in this case is your word) literally creates your effect. This truth is why I take every client through the powerful inner work of strengthening their self-talk and identifying toxic behaviors and beliefs as the very first step of working with me – whether we’re focused on executive communications or energy leadership or anything else!
Align your intentions. It’s the best way to see your goals realized.
To make sure your intentions are in line with your leadership and career goals, schedule a call with me today! I’d be happy to help you create powerful intentions that will get you closer to where you want to be…while being who you really are!
And so I’ll end this the exact way I started it: what are you waiting for?
