Positivity porn is real popular. Stuart Smalley-style mental gymnastics are real easy (and that’s the reason for the popularity).

But make no mistake: deeply embedded belief systems can’t be helped with self-help-platitudes.

Regarding the experiences we have in life, whether work-related or personal, we always have 2 basic choices:

1. We can let our preconceived assumptions, notions, knee-jerk reactions, and emotions control what we think, feel, and say; or 

2. We can gain control over ourselves, our minds, and all of those -tions and choose happiness and positivity. 

Option #1 is the most common because it’s the easiest… but it’s by far the most damaging in the long-term.  Most people have developed a habit of allowing themselves to be controlled by the myopic mind – that less-than-ideal, usually spur-of-the-moment part of it that simply reacts. After all, that’s our natural state. Our minds developed to help us with the most basic of functions: fight or flight and these instant reactions were necessary to our survival.

But to be a fully-functioning, mature adult and become the person we want to be in the world (both personally and professionally), our minds must evolve. That requires taking control of our short-term, myopic minds with our greater mind, our true self.

Sounds a little schizophrenic, right?

How can you control your mind with your mind?

The body is so subjective and the brain is such a reflection of whatever you think or imagine… so it’s not enough to just think – you have to embody whatever you wish to believe.

-Dr. Joe Dispenza

Your mind is the most powerful tool you have for the creation of good in your life, but if used incorrectly, can also be the most destructive force in your life. To control your thoughts means to influence the way you live your life, reign in your feelings, and set boundaries for where you allow your mind to roam.

Why does this matter so much?

As some wise women once said:

(and the rest will follow)

Freeing your mind means, ironically, to take it captive.

Taking control of your mind – the myopic version – with the higher-evolved mind requires deliberate, internal action that, yes, will free you.

The choice you make each day to master your mind matters because it impacts you and those you encounter every day, such as your employees, team members, friends, and family. Let that myopic mind take over and you will soon be questioning yourself and doubting your abilities, potentially causing negative emotions and even depression. It can lower your productivity and distract you while simultaneously holding you back from accomplishing your goals.

Totally effed this up in the past?  I can relate. Remember: each day is a new day to make this choice – in fact, so is every hour, every new interaction, every moment. Even if you know you have allowed negativity, self-indulgence, inappropriate and emotionally-driven reactions to control your mind and get the best of you, you can consciously decide to take the control back. And it’s never too late.

This is a crucial component of effective leadership, by the way: your ability to take control of what has failed you in the past sets a great example for those around you, as well as enabling you to maintain an optimistic mindset. The cherry on top is that this type of approach to past failure in this area also helps you to avoid triggers.

So, how do we DO this whole mind mastery thing?

You are the thinker and the observer of your thoughts. You can control your thoughts, but you must pay attention to them so you can identify “who” is running the show—this will determine which technique you will want to use.

Begin each day with the intention of paying attention and catching yourself when you are thinking undesirable thoughts, reacting with emotion, and otherwise using that myopic mind.

There are a lot of techniques out there for controlling your mind, but here are 2 of the most effective:

1. Interrupt and replace them

2. Eliminate them altogether

The technique of interrupting and replacing is a means of reprogramming your subconscious mind. Eventually, the replacement thoughts will become the “go-to” thoughts in applicable situations.  Eliminating them altogether is also known as peace of mind.

The goal with both techniques is to become stronger mentally.

 Mentally strong people don't let their minds control them or their daily interactions. These people are confident, willing to take risks, and surround themselves with the best possible network. They don't waste their time reacting to or indulging in toxic behavior. They don't allow themselves to become easily triggered by the actions of others because they're more understanding and accepting of what people tend to project based on their own experiences in life. They don’t tolerate negative bullsh*t from even their own negative thoughts and feelings. Most importantly, they let go of grudges and hostility because they understand that holding in all that anger only causes more mental anguish in the long run.

Does this mean that mentally strong people don't have bad days? Of course not! Even when you focus on becoming mentally strong, you will still have days when things don't seem to be going right, and you can't quite get out of your head. That old myopic mind will rear its ugly head and you’ll feel emotional, reactive, short-sighted, triggered, and irrational.

Again: all this means is that you can CHOOSE to master that mind in the next moment, the next conversation, the next day.

Bottom line: your mind is a tool, and like any other tool, it can be used for constructive purposes or destructive purposes.

You can allow your mind to be occupied by unwanted, undesirable, and destructive tenants, or you can choose desirable ones like peace, gratitude, compassion, love, and joy.

Additional resources to help master your mind:

• Affirmations for anxiety

• Understanding your energy

• Harness the power of your inner critic

• Overcoming discouragement